Me on Doktor Budak
The team at Doktor Budak website has kindly reproduced my speech in an article which was recently published on the website.
Here's the link: http://www.doktorbudak.com/2015/01/13/autism/
Here's the link: http://www.doktorbudak.com/2015/01/13/autism/
Assalamualaikum Hazim. My name is Faris. I just read your article. Just like the other person who commented at the doktorbudak site, I've lived your article. I envy you a bit because you got diagnosed early while I never got diagnosed. My parents never noticed that I had trouble socializing - not to say I'm great at it though. Now at age 37, I still miserably fail in social settings: AWKWARD. Ever since childhood I've always kept to myself - engrossed with my own interests. I only got to know about "Asperger Syndrome" these couple of years - after being married a few years already!
ReplyDeleteI want to ask your opinion, if you don't mind, is it too late for me to get a diagnosis for Asperger at this age? Or is it only beneficial when you are still at schooling age?
I do have problems at work - people seem not to like me working hard (my work = my interest) & I'm being ostracized for that (& for being socially awkward too - can't help it though). I thought if I get an official diagnosis, then the workplace could potentially be more accommodating for people like us.
Hope we can be friends.
Waalaikummussalam Faris. I was actually diagnosed later than my brother Hafiz. It's better to get a diagnosis so you can understand better what you feel and can get help on how to overcome the situation. I'm still a college student and is a daily ongoing challenge. I feel hard to find friends for group projects. Also I can't communicate well with friends because I need to think before I can speak. I have some pauses when speaking to my friends.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for responding. If you don't mind sharing, what was it that made your parents send you for diagnosis in the first place? I mean, what did they find "wrong" with you that they decided to have you checked out?
DeleteIf you don't mind receiving an advice or two from a stranger regarding college/uni coping strategies:
"friends for group projects": From my uni experience years ago, once your classmates notice that you are quite well versed in your subject (maybe through your active participation in class eg. rajin jawab soalan2 impromtu your lecturer), they'll flock to you when it comes to group work. One disadvantage of this that you must be mindful of: You tend to attract the worst kind of groupmates - ones that are by your side just to take advantage of you ie. "ride" you/you are their work horse in that you'll be doing everything & they are there to get a free A for the subject without much effort. I've had such groups too many times that I've lost count - VERY DISAPPOINTING/FRUSTRATING. I work hard because I love what I was studying (IT esp. programming). These groupworks were my major stress points in my whole life as a university student. If I were given the option, I'd rather work alone. Nobody else to disappoint me but myself.
"can't communicate well with friends because I need to think before I can speak. I have some pauses when speaking to my friends." - same here until now. I'm very slow to respond making real time conversations almost impossible. Especially when I'm being ridiculed, I can't defend myself immediately. It's always after the fact that I would only be able to think of the appropriate responses ie. "I should have said such and such to that person that time but at that very moment I was just dumbstruck". This inability to respond timely always leaves me feeling depressed for days. Rasa selalu tak terbela maruah. What to do? Bersabar jelah kot. :(
Btw, may I know what are you currently studying (what course)? Just curious.
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